A SLEEPLESS NIGHT

As we left Calgary it was beginning to get dark and a light rain was falling.

“How far do you think we should go before stopping for the night?” Said Beth.

“Oh I don’t know, it’ll take about 3 hours to Golden, should be about 10 by then.  Maybe we should stop there and get a good rest and continue on to Surrey the next morning.” I said.

“OK, that sounds good to me I’m getting tired already.” Beth said.

It was November and from bitter experience we knew driving this route at night through the Rockies, the weather could, and usually did, change within minutes. We were not disappointed on this trip. 

By the time we reached Banff it was snowing lightly, not sticking to the road but making visibility poor, so we had to slow down.  After Lake Louise it changed to rain again and the conditions remained quite good until Golden.  As we approached Golden I was thinking maybe we should go the extra hour and a half to Revelestoke, it would then be an easy 6-hour drive home the next day.

“What do you think?” I said as we entered Golden. “Maybe we should push on to Revelestoke, make it easier tomorrow. We should be good and tired by the time we get there.”

“I’m very good and tired now.  But if you want to continue driving I guess I can survive another hour and a half.” Beth said sounding slightly less than enthusiastic.

So we continued through brightly-lit motel row back into the black night. On to Rogers Pass. As we drove north along the Columbia River, it appeared we were the only vehicle on this lonely stretch of road. This is a relatively flat stretch of highway before crossing the bridge and entering Rogers pass proper. As we approached the bridge I speeded up to 130KPH. From experience I had learned that I could hold that speed without having to gear down all the way up the steep 20-Kilometer hill.  As we climbed the hill the rain turned to sleet, and the night seemed to get darker. I had to slow down.

So much for plan “A”.

About 45 minutes later, peering through the rain and sleet with tired eyes, window wipers doing their monotonous swish thump, swish thump, I noticed flashing lights ahead.

“Looks like an accident ahead.” I said to Beth.

As I rolled down the window a RCMP Officer leaned in.

“I’m sorry folks we have had major landslide a few miles ahead, you may have to wait here for 6 or 7 hours or you can head back to Golden.  I hear Golden is pretty well full up but you might find something.”

“Oh no,” Beth said, maybe just a touch out of sorts, “ I knew we should have stayed in Golden. We would snug in our little bed by now, not out here in the middle of nowhere in the dark and rain.”

I thanked the Officer and immediately turned the car around and hurried back toward Golden. I pushed the SAAB 9000T a bit, passed several cars and made it to Golden in about 35 minutes.

As we entered the Motel strip on the highway it was obvious there were NO vacancies.  I had an idea. We made for the bridge and entered the small town proper where there were a few lower grade motels. They also were full.  Then I noticed a very old, very rundown tavern on the corner.  In one dirty window was a small notice Rooms to Let.  I made an abrupt turn in the middle of the block and screeched to a halt in front of a door with more broken pains of glass than whole ones.

“Boy are we lucky,” I said, “ this must be the last room for a hundred miles around.”

“I’m not stepping a foot into that place let alone sleep in there.” Beth said.

“Oh it may not be so bad, anyway beggars can’t be choosers,” I said as I creaked myself out of the car.

As I entered the front area that generously could be called a lobby, I noticed a narrow stairway on the left, enclosed with a steel barred gate. A dirty sign above it read Trespassers will be shot.

“Well at least we should be safe.” I said to no one in particular.

On the right was a blackened old wooden door with the word “Bar” written on it with white chalk.

I entered the Bar and looked around. The smoke was so thick I could hardly see. A very old jukebox was turned up so loud it was hard to hear the drunken swearing and arguing going on.  Through the gloom I noticed the bar, and as I approached I could see a very attractive lady serving drinks behind it.  Above her head was a small dirty sign that read Rent Rooms here.

As I stood at the bar waiting to get her attention, an old, unshaven, dirty, very drunk cowboy-type of person grabbed me by the arm and handed me a drink. Well to be more precise he spilled a drink over him and me.  As I grabbed the drink from him before he fell, a roar of applause, whistling and stomping emitted from the assembled horde.

“That makes 20.” From scattered ‘patrons’ somewhere in the dark reaches of the inter sanctum.

“Ey Mary thash mashkes 20, Tell Sherri.”, said unshaven cowboy-person.

“Yee oow 20,”, from the back.

“Count em 20,”  from one side.

“Oh no now you’ve done it,” Mary yelled at me over the din, “ I’ll never get out of here tonight.”

“ No I’m afraid you’ve mixed me up with someone else,” I yelled back. “I just got in.”

“You make 20, are you sure you want a drink?”

“No, as a matter of fact I don’t want a drink, I want a room.” I screamed at her.

Mary looked at me as if I had lost my mind.

“ You want a room, in here?”

“Yes, are there any left?”

“Why yes, I guess there are. We don’t get much call for rooms in this dump. You’ll have to wait a few minutes though until I can get away from the bar. I’ll have a look and get you a key.” Mary said and began pouring beer.

“Hey Mary.” I yelled as I downed the dregs of the beer not on my shirt, “What’s all this preoccupation with the number 20?”

“Oh we have a high class stripper in this joint, and she won’t go on unless there is at least 20 people in the bar.  These guys have been waiting around for more than 5 hours ever since Vince left. You make 20.”

“Yeah but I’m not staying.”

‘Done matter, Done matter just stay as long as she sees yuh. OK.” Said an old gent grabbing my shoulder to steady himself, as he exhaled cigar smoke and stale beer about an inch from my nose.

Just then a remarkably attractive young lady (considering the establishment) emerged from a door behind the bar.

“You are obviously a newcomer.” She said looking at me without a smile.

 “Has anyone left since my last show Mary?”

“He makes 20.” From several drunks over against the far wall.

“Yep that’s 20 all right,” Said smelly cowboy type person.

“Uuh… no,… no one has left as far as I know Sherri.” Mary said.

A few minutes later Mary came around the bar and said, “OK lets get out to the front desk and see what we have.”

As we left the Bar a well dressed middle aged man was just coming in the main door.

“ Oh thank God its you George, will you see if there is a room for this gentleman.” Mary said, as she turned and went back to the bar.

“Well you’re sure in luck.” George said with a friendly smile. “ I’ve only got one room left, but it ‘s the best one we have, just completely remodeled, but I have to charge $25 for the night.”

“Must be the Royal suite, to bring in such a sum.” I said maybe a little to flippantly.

“ Yep its real good all right, did most of the work on it myself.”  George said missing my point completely.

George fumbled with the large key and was trying to open the stubborn old lock on the steel door at the bottom of the staircase.  I was starting to have grave reservations about staying in this establishment. He finally got it open. As we climbed the dingy, narrow, steep staircase a feeling of foreboding crept into my little brain. I was pretty sure Beth wouldn’t even get through the front door let alone up these stairs.  Oh well I would take a quick look, and leave.

“There you go.” George said as he turned on the light. I couldn’t believe my smoke filled eyes. We had what looked like a spanking new room, complete with a beautiful brass bed and cut glass bed lamps.

“Well you sure weren’t exaggerating, it really is nice.” I said as relief flowed through my tired body. “We’ll take it.”

I paid at the front desk, received my key and started out to get Beth.

“Oh by the way how do I get through the Iron Gate to the stairs?” I said as I open the outside door.

“Oh don’t worry your key opens both doors.” George said as he entered the Bar.

“Boy are we in luck, I just got us a great room, and only $25 for the night.”

“You must be kidding, I am not going into that dump. Yuck you smell terrible. I can imagine what it must be like inside. I’d much rather sleep in the car”

“ No really, the room has been totally rebuilt, even has a new bathroom complete with tub and shower. It has a nice brass bed just like Sandra’s and pretty lamps.”

“ I will sleep in the car!!”

“OK have it your way but I’m real tired, it is 12:30. You can sleep in the car out here in front of this jewel of an establishment. I’ll leave you my parka if you want.

I’m going to our room, have a shower and get to sleep in the brass bed.” I said being my usual considerate self.

As I unlocked the Iron Door Beth looked like she was going to gag.  She was not happy with me at all.  As we went up the narrow dirty stained stairs she mumbled.

“This is disgusting I’m going back to the car.”

“Were almost there, honestly you wont believe it.” I said as we turned down the hall off the stairs.

I opened the door and turned on the light.

“This is unbelievable.” Beth said as she entered the sparkling clean room. “Except for the stale smoke this is great. Quick Larry open that big window.” 

As I opened the window I couldnt help but notice we were right over the front entrance.

“Look at this nice new bathroom.” Beth said as she tripped over the six-inch ledge leading into it, almost falling into the sink.  I guess to make the renovations work they had raised the entire bathroom floor about six inches. Should be no problem.

Well now things had definitely turned for the better. We would get good nights sleep, have a great breakfast and take our time driving home tomorrow.

Beth quickly took over the bathroom had a hot bath got on her nitie and crawled into the large soft bed.

“Well I must admit this is really nice, I still can’t believe it.” She said contentedly.

Beth had no sooner said this than.

“Thump.. thump.. thump … stomp.. stomp.. stomp.. take if off Sherri baby” Came from the Bar.  The Bar it was now obvious we were directly above.

“What is that?  It’s making the picture on the wall shake.” Beth said sitting bolt upright in bed.

“Oh no big deal, I guess we are right above the Bar.  Sherri will just have one little show and everyone will leave.” I said trying to look like I believed this crap.

As I had my shower I noticed the floor of the shower vibrated to the music. With the shower going I could hardly hear the music. Actually the vibrating floor was quite erotic.

When I came out of the shower Beth was laying there with pieces of tissue sticking out of her ears.

“What on earth is that sticking out of your ears?” I said.

“What.”

“Never mind.”

“What.”

“That’s a good idea.” I screamed above the thumping and screaming from below pointing to her ears.  She smiled and nodded.

I crawled into bed. It appeared Beth wasn’t interested in any romance. I think I went to sleep almost instantly.

“Are you asleep?”

“Muum”

“What did you say?”

“ I think I said yes.”

“It didn’t sound like yes.”

“What are you talking about.”

“I can’t sleep with all that noise”

“Well just lie there and relax.”

“I can’t relax.”

“Well I can.”

“That is not fair.”

“Look its 1:30 in the morning. Why are we talking?”

I don’t remember what she said.  I went back to sleep almost instantly.

“Larry wake up the music has stopped.”

I woke up.

“Now I’ll be able to get to sleep.”

“You woke me up to tell me that.”

“Yes I thought you would be pleased that I was going to get some sleep.”

“I am, night, night.”

“Good night Dear.”

I went back to sleep.

“Oh no now what.” Beth said shaking me awake.

“Whaa”

“I think they are having a fight over Sherri right below our window.”

Yep it sounded like about 10 drunken swearing men, and one loud, swearing woman, were crawling into our window.

“Well what do you want me to do about it.” I said between my teeth.

“You had better close the window.”

I went over and looked out. It appeared there was a bidding war going on for the continued services of Sherri.  A few guys were throwing punches at each other but they were so drunk I don’t think any were caught.  I closed the window.

“ That’s a little better.” Beth said close to tears.

“Have you been to sleep yet.” I said trying to sound concerned.

“I think I have had about ten minutes sleep since we arrived.”

Just then, the loudest, scratchiest,  record player in the world boomed to life. It appeared to be in our closet.  It was playing some cowboy song about some poor jerk that had lost his girl. 

It was very loud. 

I was sure it was in our room and got up to find it and throw it out the window.  As it turned out there was a door from our room to the next room.  I think the door was made of paper.

The deafening music was coming from behind that door.

“I can’t stand it.” Beth said sort of hysterically.

Just than the song got to the part where the cowboy singer was singing something like

“I miss those arms that held me When all the love was thereee”

Suddenly the record player was drowned out by a very loud, very drunken voice, also in our room.

“I miss those arms that held me When all the love was thereee

 

Beth put her head under her pillow.

“I really can’t stand it Larry, I think I’m going crazy.” I heard muffled through the pillow.

“Yeah me to.” I said.

But it appeared I could stand it.  I went right back to sleep.

“Larry wake up, you have do something about that drunk next door.”

“I miss those arms that held me When all the love was thereee”

Yes the drunk was still in form. He would just let the music go on at full volume without making a peep. That is until it got to. “I miss those arms that held me When all the love was thereee” Which he would bellow at the top of his lungs. 

I gather I had been asleep for at least an hour.

Beth hadn’t. 

It was now about 3A.M.  So I got up and went over to the door that separated our two rooms.  I pounded on the door and screamed with all my might.

“Hey you in there turn that bloody record player off. Don’t you know people are trying to sleep around here.”

There was almost instant silence.

We could hear him get out of his bed and go to his door to the hallway. He opened it as he shouted at the top of his voice.

“Yeah who the hell is going to make me. Where are you? Come on back and fight.”

He went back into his room. He turned the record player up to full again.  I went back to his inside door, pounded and screamed again.  He went back to his hall door opened it and yelled some obscenities.  He slammed  his outside door shut, muttering a few more obscenities to himself.  Then unbelievably he turned of the record played and went to sleep.

The drunks had all left the front of the hotel.

I opened the window.

“Isn’t that beautiful.” Beth said. “ Nice fresh air and silence.”

I had to admit it was almost to good to be true. But there it was, silence. 

We both went to sleep. And it wasn’t even 4 A.M. yet.

Thump bump.

“Oh damn it all anyway.” Penetrated my foggy brain. Sounded like Beth.

I jumped up to see what was wrong. It was pitch black in the room and at first I couldn’t find her.  I turned on the light. There she was sitting on the floor at the foot of the bed. She had her hand to her mouth. Blood was running between her fingers. Her nose was bleeding. I knelt down and held her.

“What on earth happened?”

“Oh I tripped coming out of the bathroom on that stupid raised floor. I went head first into the brass railing at the foot of the bed.” Beth said as a tear rolled down her cheek.

So after some cold clothes and a few Aspirins Beth finally got back to sleep.

In the morning Beth’s lip was badly swollen and her nose was red.  She also had the beginnings of a shiner.

“We can’t go out for breakfast with me looking like this what will people think.” She said.

“I couldn’t care less what they think I’m starved.”

“People might think you beat me up.”

“Naw.”

Anyway we got dressed and left our room from hell.

We started to walk down the street looking for a restaurant.  We had only gone a few yards when Beth came to a halt.

“Maybe I should go in there.” She said pointing to the sign over the door.

“Battered Women’s Shelter” virtually leaped out at us.

My beautiful wife after no sleep, and a cut lip, out side the shelter!

We skipped breakfast in Golden and drove to Revelestoke.

I HAVE JUST FOUND WHAT I BELIEVE TO BE OUR FAMOUS HOTEL
IT APPEARS TO HAVE BEEN COMPLETELY REBUILT AND IS NOW A
NICE GREEK RESTRAUNT. IT WAS BLACK OLD SHINGLES ETC - WE WERE IN THE TOP LEFT WINDOW - ROWDIES BELOW!  (sept 2012)

Written by Larry W Bennett

Feb. 2000