THE DUCK HUNT

                                                THE DUCK HUNT DUCK HUNT

                                                                                                             

"Come on you guys; I promise I won't get in the way. I really do want to go Duck hunting with you.” Said Arlene.

“No you can't come, you'll start complaining and whining before we are out of the drive­way," I said. With all the authority, a 19-yr. old border could muster when addressing his landlady’s 14-yr. old daughter.

It was the fall of 1955 and I was working at my first real job, as a ledger keeper for the Royal Bank of Canada in the little town of Elrose Saskatchewan. I had moved from the Relative metropolis of Saskatoon (about 60,000) a year before and rented a large airy bedroom on the second floor of the Elises lovely home. Arlene’s Mom, was a petite, attractive lady with striking gray hair, always cheerful and had a great sense of humor. Mrs. Elis was not to keen on cooking so I had my meals across the street with Mrs. Draper. She was a rather morose, large woman in her forties who from the meals we were served enjoyed cooking even less than Mrs. Elis.

THIS IS THE ELIS HOUSE - MY ROOM WAS TOP HAD THREE WINDOWS

 

"Yeah, and besides, you're a girl and you've never been up at 4 AM in your life." I said.   "Not to mention the fact you haven’t even got a gun.” Said Rod, Arlene's 16-yr. old brother.

"But I will get up. You don't have to worry about me. I'll be up and dressed before you guys are even awake."

"Now Arlene it is the middle of November and its bitter cold at that time of the morning. Are you sure you want to get up that early on a Saturday morning?  You’ll freeze while those foolish boys wander around in the dark?" said Mrs. Ellis.

I don't know about Arlene, I thought to myself, but I think it’s pretty stupid. I don’t have much interest in murdering ducks.

If it hadn't been for Rods persistent nagging and begging these past weeks it would never have crossed my mind to go out in the middle of the night to kill some unfortunate creatures, who un­doubtedly being more intelligent than us, would be fast asleep.

Nevertheless, here I was, 9 PM on a Friday, and I certainly had better things to do than go up to bed.  Yes go to bed so I could crawl out at the ungodly hour of 4 am to do something I thought others were crazy doing.

"But Mom I know I'll love it, I've always wanted to get up that early and get out into the fresh morning air."

“No Mom, we don't want her, do we Larry?" Said Rod.

“Well its not that we don't want you, Arlene." I lied. “It’s just that we know you won't have a good time"

"I'm getting up and going with your guys and that is that" and with that she went up to here room to get ready for bed.

"Well”, said Mrs. Ellis, "I t looks like you boys have a passenger."

The alarm went off. Must be something wrong with the clock.

I had just crawled into bed after looking out the window and seeing light snow falling in the blue glow of one of Elrose’s famous Mercury Vapor streetlights. When driving on a dark night Elrose stood out from all the other small towns in the area due to these lights. From a distance of several miles these bluish lights were very distinct, and to me very beautiful. I believe Elrose Saskatchewan was one of the first towns on the Prairies to have mercury vapor lighting.

I got up to reset that stupid clock. I then noticed it said five to four.

It took a few seconds to set in, but it eventually dawned on me that it went off at the right time. I couldn't believe what I was doing.  I was almost awake at 4AM. I thought getting up at 8AM was cruel and unusual punishment. With an amazing show of willpower I slowly started getting dressed.

Then I remembered Arlene.

Arlene, Rod, and I shared the top story of an old-fashioned farmhouse. Rod’s room was across the hall from mine so I went into his first, and he was fast asleep.  I had a fleeting thought of forgetting the whole stupid idea.

"Rod," I whispered, half-hoping he wouldn’t wake.

"OK Larry, OK I'm awake, thanks for waking me." Rod said.

I couldn't believe it; I had often heard his mother trying to wake him at the crack of noon with little or no success.

 I continued to Arlene’s room. She was very fast asleep.

"OK, OK enough of this sleeping stuff, let’s get going and murder some ducks,” I said, rather loudly. The only response I got was a snort, and the sound of subdued snoring.

“What are you doing to me?" She mumbled as I shook her a little roughly.

"Leave me alone, and turn off that damn light." Well, that sounded like a great idea, I had done my duty. She wouldn't come, case closed. I turned off her light, left the room and closed the door.

As I was going by Rods room he called." Is Arlene getting dressed?"

"I couldn't wake her, so let’s forget about her."

"Oh yeah, we'll see about that" he said, as I with my eyes mostly closed felt my way back to my room.

Just as I finished dressing Rod stuck his head in my door.

"Arlene is all dressed and is ready to go.” He said.

"I guess you're a better waker upper than I am." I said

I went down and started the car to let it warm up. The snow was still falling lightly and by now, there was at least 6 inches on the ground. The temperature was about -20C and very very dark, the snow crunching with each step I took. It certainly was a crisp morning. Taking in a big breath my nostrils tingled with that exhilarating never forgotten smell of the season’s first snowfall. The 1949 Studibaker didn’t have a thermostat so it usually took a long time before we got any heat. I used my normal routine. Get it started (with some luck) then run back into the warmth of the house, let it run for several minutes to heat up before venturing forth.

I picked up my shotgun in the house and yelled softly for Rod, he came down stairs all dressed his shotgun in hand and ready to go.

“Where’s Arlene?" I said.”

“I duno." He said." I thought she was down here with you"

We both went up to her room.

There she was, on the floor sound asleep. She was dressed in her pajamas with a pair of my pants over the bottoms and a parka over her pajama tops. We tried putting her back to bed.

"No,… No,.. Come. Fresh air.  Ducks." She mumbled.

So we half carried, half dragged her to the car

There was a loud thud as her head hit the doorjamb as we threw her into the back seat. Arlene crumpled into a heap, instantly fast asleep, or unconscious, we weren't quite sure.

So far, she was having a great time. By this time my fingers we almost frozen, but at least the inside of the car had heated up, to about minus 5C. I stayed inside in the relative warmth. Rod on the other hand was outside scrapping the frost and snow off the windshield.

We drove along the back roads on the way to this magical field Rod had been telling me about for weeks. Rod guaranteed this field would be full of Geese, Ducks, Hungarians, and evidently every other game bird known to man.

“Just turn where I tell you Larry and we’ll be there in no time.” Rod said.

We bumped along in the cold and dark not speaking. Every now and than a jackrabbit would leap up from the ditch, then with a burst of speed get ahead of us in the glare of the headlights. As they ran ahead of us they would keep looking back over their shoulders at us. I could swear they always had big grins on their faces. It always amazed me, not only how fast these large rabbits could run, (which was very fast) but even more, how far they flew through the air with each bound.  As these rabbits were bounding I’m sure at least twenty feet between landings they looked very much like little Kangaroos.

" I have absolutely no idea where we are." I said. "Have you?"

"Of course." Rod said. 

But he didn't sound too confident.

I just turned where Rod told me and peered into the swirling snow straight ahead trying to stay on the road.

I guess after about 30 minutes of this, Rod said,

" Whoa, right here Larry, pull over and stop".

I did.

" I don't see much of anything Rod, let alone birds.” I said.

"Don't be stupid Larry, they’re out there all right, but we can't see them because it’s still dark. We’ll sneak out there and be ready when the sun comes up" Rod assured me. Pitch dark and blizzard conditions; I was trying to imagine the sun coming up.

Before I could get my brain around this idea we got out of the car. Boy it was cold, wind blowing; and snow biting into your face. What on earth was I doing here?  Anyway we fought our way against the wind around to the back of the car, and got our shotguns out of the trunk.

 We stumbled up the bank of the road and started out into the field. It was a very large field, several sections (square miles), totally made up of small undulating hills. The ground was covered with liter­ally thousands of stooks scattered all over the place. A stook is a pile of wheat sheaves stacked about 5 ft high so the binder can get them.

We had gone about 300 yards.

" I sure hope Arlene doesn't freeze to death back there in the car.” Rod said.

Arlene; I had forgotten all about Arlene.  We couldn't leave her in the car without the heater on. The heater only works with the car running, if we left the car run­ning we were sure she would die from carbon monoxide poisoning. Well it was her idea to come, so there was nothing for it but that she had to come with us.

"Man I totally forgot Arlene" I said, "I guess we've got to go back for her."

To say that she had a change of heart was putting it mildly.

" Get your stupid hands off me" she said, " I'm not leaving this car, leave me alone"

"You're coming, and that’s that." Rod said, as he pulled her feet and I tried to pry her fingers from the door. She swore at us, as she kicked me. She thrashed determined not to wake up, but the thrashing, yelling, swearing and the kicking more or less snapped her out of her comatose state. Eventually we managed to get her out into  "the fresh morning air”.

"Wow, smell the fresh Morning air, it just makes your nostrils tingle doesn't it" I said.

She kicked me again.

So the three of us started off again. Rod was leading the way. I was sure he had no idea where  he going, me next, then Arlene bringing up the rear and becoming more rearward all the time.

Arlene kept disappearing behind in the dark. I would have to stop and wait for her then Rod would disappear up front. The wind was so loud I couldn't hear her when she called, and Rod couldn't hear me. Therefore, with me stopping and waiting for Arlene, and Rod stopping and waiting for me, after 15 minutes or so we hadn't gone covered much ground.

We were a fair distance from the car though.  Somewhere in the middle of hundreds of little snow covered hills, in a blizzard, at night. The little hills were actually stooks of hay, made up of several sheaves pilled together to make a sort of wigwam.

 "That’s it." Arlene said. " I'm not going a step further, I've had enough of this stupidity."

"Well." I said. "You can just sit here and wait for us. If you are still alive when we get back we will pick you up.”

I was sure this would get her going again, but I was wrong. I forgot she was born and raised on these farms.

"That a great idea Larry." She said. "I'll just crawl into this stook, I’ll be warm as a bug in a rug. Don't forget to get me on the way back."

Well we weren't born yesterday, Rod and me, no siree. We knew all the stooks looked the same, so we cleaned most of the snow off one, dug a nice warm igloo inside and Arlene

Crawled in.

"We should have no trouble finding that stook it stands out like a sore thumb.” I said triumphantly.

"None at all." Agreed Rod.

We were very sure of ourselves.

So we carried on bravely into the dark. After about a half-hour we were on the top of a rolling hill, and we decided to stay until daylight. After all, at daylight millions of fowl would descend on us, we would get our limit and go happily and contented home to bed.

Well it didn't work out quite that way.

We sat there in the dark with the wind getting stronger and the snow coming down heav­ier. Although I had lived in Saskatchewan all my life and endured minus 40-degree weather many times, I had never experienced that well-known phenomenon of chattering teeth.  I had always thought chattering teeth was the figment of some Southerners imagination. It started softly. At first I wasn't sure if my teeth were actually chattering. However it wasn't long before there was no doubt whatsoever. I could not only feel them chattering, but also I could actually hear them. It was then I realized it was Rod’s teeth I heard.

There we sat chattering away.

I was so cold I was sure I would have to warm up to freeze to death. But believe it or not, dawn did arrive. It took a long time and it was hard to tell if it was getting light but eventually the black turned into a dark gray and we could see a few feet through the snow.

"This is when the big Geese arrive Larry; at first light, and we’ll get em." Said Rod.

"Uh hu." I said. Talking hurt my jaw.

Another half-hour passed with us freezing our eyeballs, (yes we were sure our eyeballs were freezing as we peered into the blowing snow) and straining our ears (which were also freezing) for the first sight of anything.

Some time later, I have no idea how long, it could have been 5 min. or an hour, I finally mumbled through my teeth that were too cold to chatter anymore.

" Dats it um ozen ets o ome".

Rod said something like,

" Olgay." As he started to get up and shake the layer of snow off his head.

We went very slowly. We couldn't find our tracks. We didn't talk. I was thinking this was definitely the worst morning of my life, and was imagining Mrs. Ellis with her hot coffee and pancakes back home. As we stumbled along, I couldn't help noticing how all the stooks looked the same.  Somewhere in the back of my mind a small light was coming on. The stook we left Arlene in might look like all the others after an hour’s snowfall. I sort of half-hearted wondered how long a person could live inside a stook covered in snow.

Rod stopped, I bumped into him.

" Umm ost ." he said.
"Well." I mumbled. "We have been walking about the same length of time as when we came out, so we should be somewhere around where we left Arlene, lets shoot a few rounds off and see if she hears us".  Rod thought that was a good idea, at least we would get a chance to fire our shotguns.

So with frozen fingers we eventually got ready to let fly with our 12 gauge shotguns.

So we pointed our guns into the air and on 3 we both let fly.

What happened next was like some weird Hitchcock movie.

The tremendous explosions of the shotgun blasts shattered the quiet. At almost the same instant the whole world seemed to explode.

There was honking, flapping, quacking, flapping, whooshing, and snow flying everywhere. It got dark again; the sky was covered with what seemed like literally millions of birds.

It was a sight that really is impossible to describe adequately.

Both Rod and I were mesmerized, or was it terrified, by the sight and sound of this spec­tacle.  Neither of us gave a thought to firing another shot. It seemed to only take a few seconds before all the birds had disappeared and we were again left with the quietly falling snow.

Just then one of the stooks a few feet away began to shake. It seemed to slowly fall apart, and then Arlene stumbled out of the stook rubbing her eyes.

"Where are all the Ducks? " She yawned, appearing as warm and fresh as a daisy. She then turned and started back toward the car.

" Im starved. I'll never do this again. How totally boring.”

Tails firmly planted between legs we quietly followed.

Written by Larry W. Bennett

lwbennett2003@yahoo.ca